He slipped through the opening. As he strolled to the desk, he mouthed an apology to Nefeli. She just shrugged and settled back into the mound of pillows, but as she did, the cough she stifled into her shoulder made him frown. It sounded a bit worse than their last visit.
Nef’s friend didn’t stir. Eyes closed, her lips lifted in contentment. He wondered what kind of conditions she lived in if she found this situation peaceful. At least he could give them a little peace, even if it was short lived.
After he searched through the papers he’d ignored the past few months, he found the book. Guilt struck him again as he cleared away the dust on the leather cover. He should have given it to her. It was her favourite and he hadn’t bothered to skim a single page.
He snagged his closest burgundy shirt and slid his arms through, but didn’t bother with the buttons.
After he closed Nef and her friend inside his room, he turned to Emmery. The moment she saw the book, her eyes widened like he held a precious piece of history. An irreplaceable artifact.
She reached for the book, ready to snatch it out of his hand, but Vesper held it up out of her reach. Fury coloured her cheeks vermillion.
“We need to talk first,” he said, a hint of desperation in his voice.
“Why? So, you can lie to me some more? Manipulate me? Trade me like some fucked up currency again?” She swiped for the book but missed. “We don’t need to talk. I’ve heardenoughfrom you.”
“Emmery,” he growled. “Just hear me out.” He manoeuvred around her and willed her to follow him down the stairs.
“I’m tired of listening to your bullshit!” she yelled after him.
Exasperated, she hollered his name before she released a long sigh and practically stomped after him. His heart thrummed in his ears as he descended the stairs and failed to collect his rampant thoughts. What would he say? Whatcouldhe say to make her understand? Nothing could make this better.
As Vesper passed Callias in the entryway hall, he gave him a nod to let him know it was alright. His cheeks were pinked and his damp hair windblown from his ride. Cal moved aside, his eyes a smouldering blue as he glowered at Emmery, but she strolled past him as if he were a mere piece of furniture.
Vesper led her to the library, which was once her favourite place. After he slumped into a velvet chair and balanced the book on his thigh, he gestured for her to join him. Arms crossed over her chest, she waited in the doorway.
“I—” Vesper started and sighed. “Can you sit down?” The way she stood there and glowered at him was unnerving. “Please.”
Reluctantly, she took a seat across from him. “Say what you need to say so I can leave.”
“Let’s start over.” He offered a small smile as a white flag of sorts. “Hello, Emmery. It’s really nice to see you.”
“Yes, well, it wasn’t veryniceof you to sell me for your kingdom, now, was it?” Her words severed his white flag, sliced through any false armour he wore, and spiked him right through the fucking chest.
Okay, he deserved that.
He gripped the armrests as her stare seared him straight down to his flimsy skeleton. Something in the way she looked at him made him feel vulnerable like no one else could, like her soul reached inside his without effort. Gods, it was unbearable, but it had always been like this between them. That push and pull.
His scabby knuckles strained, ready to split, so he released the armrests and tucked his hands under his thighs. “How much do you know?”
“More than I did before, no thanks to you.”
He couldn’t keep track of it all. Did she know about the marriage bond? Should he tell her? It seemed irrelevant at this point. “Please, just humour me.”
“Right, well”—she tapped a finger to her chin—“About ninety-five years ago, you and Izzy found me across the gate. Then we were engaged in a crazy blood oath.” She shot him a scornful glare. “Tomarry.”
Fuck. The fact she hadn’t heard it from him wassomuch worse.
She continued, “Then Destonne killed Iz, and I was gravely injured somehow. I guess I also … blew up Ellynne.” She studied the floor, her trembling hands clasped together, like she tried to hide the quake.
“Someone sent me back over the gate. I lost my memories and thought I was gone for two days, not two years. But I kept the scars as souvenirs. Lucky me.” She paused, like she sifted through her thoughts. “You were in servitude to Destonne until he made a deal to free you and give your kingdom back in exchange for me. So you agreed to retrieve me, used me to try and bring Iz back, and then handed me over. Oh, and you kept this from me. For amonth.” She gave him a bitter smile. “Did I miss anything?”
He didn’t know what to say, his tongue heavy and mouth dry. Yeah, he was an absolute prick for hiding this from her, but he’d convinced himself she wouldn’t have believed him anyway. The truth sounded insane each time he’d rehearsed it aloud, just to see if he could get it out. Make it feel real.
“That about sums it up,” he muttered. He ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Look, I—” He couldn’t meet her eyes as his conscience berated him. “I’ve done bad things, Emmery. I made mistakes—”
“Mistakes are trivial. Harmless. What you did was wrong.”
“I never meant to—”