As it came into focus, his stomach dropped.
A lantern? What the fuck? Who had left this here?
“That was too easy,” a lyrical voice said from behind him.
He recognized it. The woman from the shop.
Vesper spun. “Who are—”
But he didn’t get to finish his question. The woman wrapped her arms around his neck and constricted his airway. Vesper flailed, but she’d gotten the jump on him and damn it, she wasstrong, and bloody tall too. He only had about half a head of height on her.
He tried to strike her face, pry her arms from his neck, or reach his weapons, but she slammed his head into the stone. Stars scattered across his vision.
He got one good swing and his fist connected with her thigh. The woman grunted and hitched a knee into his groin. If he thought the head wound hurt, he had no idea. Dull dizzyingpain radiated through him and he nearly crumpled. A rather pathetic whine slipped between his lips. She took his moment of weakness and pinned his arms between him and the cavern wall.
The scent of blackberries flooded his nostrils.
Vesper’s breath thinned and his world swam as she leaned in and whispered in his ear, “The shopkeeper was right about the woman you asked for all over town.” She let out the tiniest giggle as she deprived his lungs of air. “You should have stopped looking.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
EMMERY
The broken city streets of Asaella flashed through Emmery’s mind as she tried to focus on the words fromThe Nameless Bookopen in her lap. But those images haunted her—the families huddled under abandoned buildings seeking shelter from the night winds; the boarded-up shops, once full of dreams now decimated; and yet another vacant grave, short and shallow, dug for a child.
There was no food to take from the pantry tonight, only some yeast and an empty basket where the potatoes once lived. She whispered a quiet prayer to Deimos that those children would find sleep tonight, even in the cold with empty bellies.
She wasn’t sure why she leaned toward Deimos. Maybe it was her likeness to Kahlia. Or rather, Emmery’s failure to be like her. Maybe the rumours were right and Emmery was some harbinger, but instead of causing new destruction, it would be brought through her inability to fix what was already broken. It was no wonder people had been rioting these last months. She wanted to join them and scream until her voice gave out.
Emmery pressed her palms against her eyes and leaned her elbows on her crossed knees. Only the flickering candle lit the room, casting all her doubts and anguish across the wall in shadow puppets. Curled up above Fionn’s head like some white furry hat, each of Aera’s snores merged with Fionn’s soft breaths. Emmery dropped her hands to her lap and propped herself up against the headboard.
She didn’t know what to think. How to process any of this.
The tidal wave of a moment, the temporary insanity where she considered kissing Destonne, lived inside her head day and night now. If she’d given in, not only would it have knocked her off her path, but he was the reason for all the problems in this kingdom. His sheer inability to patch or mend any of these issues and leave the wounds to fester was inexcusable.
But the reason for tonight’s restlessness didn’t belong to Destonne—it was a result of her own guilt. And she read Shade’s words like a repentance, a confession. As she read aloud, her heart ached a little more as inconsolable longing and the unfettered absence of him festered within her. It was a hollowness she didn’t dare touch, because if she did, it would open up and swallow her whole. She couldn’t allow that to happen.
Emmery distracted herself, as Shade’s words echoed through her.“In her absence, I’d never tasted life. My days were stunted, the nights solitary, and time trudged on into a bleary eternity. All until her lips touched mine. My world bloomed, I split downthe middle, and my heart leapt into her waiting hands. I gave her the chance to crush, to decimate, to own every shredded scrap of my soul. Because it was hers. I was hers. In some pocket of existence, I always had been, I just didn’t know it yet. That’s why, the day I lost Nyssa, I, too, lost myself.”
Emotion clawed up her throat. These had to be Shade’s words. Why else would they burrow inside her like this? Dive into her heart and live there all these years.Pulling herself together, she continued, “All colour dashed from my vision, all warmth in my heart frozen over. Loneliness became an impenetrable skin I couldn’t shed, pressing down on me each and every day. The world was cold without her, and I learned there are worse things than death. Dying would be simple, a peaceful end, yet to live without the one you love—”
Like a prickling along her skin, she felt him there before she looked up to find Destonne standing in the doorway, his hand clasped around the back of his neck. Two nights had passed since she last saw him. The image of his mangled shoulder was still fresh in her mind. The wave of agony that had needled her bones when she took his pain lived inside her now. A memory that wouldn’t ebb and churned her stomach.
Was that how he lived, or was it the injury? She couldn’t quite separate the two—the wound and the thorns melded into one jumbled mess.
Aera cracked an eyelid, flashed Destonne a quick snaggle-toothed smile, and snuggled into Fionn’s hair. Her tail flicked in greeting.
Destonne cleared his throat, announcing his presence. “I’m surprised you’re not wandering the streets tonight. It’s undoubtedly the most dangerous place to be with the hound sightings. I was sure you’d run head first into that trouble, since you don’t contain a shred of self-preservation.”
Her fingers tightened on the black bound text in her hands as rage and tension heated her blood, like standing too close to a crackling fire, waiting for a spark to pop and inevitably burn her. And, fuck it, she was ready to burn tonight. “Nice to see you too,Your Majesty. Shall I stand and curtsy or—”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Destonne’s mouth twisted, and he clutched his arm that’d been torn open by that beast. “We’re past that, don’t you think?”
“Past what?” she asked, her high voice full of mock respect. “Pleasantries? This is your kingdom after all. You hold the power, the title, and I’m required to show respect.” He also hadn’t had the decency to even answer his door the six times she’d knocked. He’d merely ignored her. She clearly wasn’t important.
Destonne snorted. “Since when have you ever shown me respect? You’ve been testing my patience since the moment you arrived here. And each day you seem to push me further like it feeds you some sadistic thrill.”
“Is that so?” she shot back, her cheeks reddening. She clapped her book shut and practically tossed it onto the side table. “I’mtestingyou? Have you ever thought that maybe you need someone to hold you accountable for the atrocities you’re allowing in this godsforsaken land?”