Normally, I'd follow his approach every step of the way, but I don't. Not when rejection is flowing through me. Maybe it's for the best. Knowing now how he feels about it, and not later on when things are deeper for both of us.
I'm already in the deep end when it comes to him. Any deeper and I'll drown in heartache. More than the hurt flowing through me at the moment.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Tyler
Idon't think I've ever felt like more of a dick than I do at this very moment.
I should've told Delaney I agreed with her about telling Dash. My son deserves to know in the near future he'll be a big brother. It just threw me off, and I'm already on edge with the stunt Megan pulled at the school.
"Can I ride my bike?" Dash asks before fully open his door for him.
"Sure, kiddo, just stay in front of the porch," I tell him, helping him out and closing the door.
"Yippee," he says, running for his bike, leaning against the railing of the steps.
I grip the handle of the passenger door as Delaney pushes it open, not giving me the smile I've become accustomed to receiving from her.
Yeah, I'm a complete and total heel for fucking this up yet again with her.
In the past week she's been staying with me, the two of us learning from each other in so many ways, I've realized just how easily she can be hurt. It's nothing against her strength. She's one of the strongest women I know, but she has a beautiful heart that has taken one too many wounds.
Gripping her waist, I lift her out and set her on her feet, wrapping my arms around her, keeping her close. It's one thing I find myself doing a lot. I like having her in my arms as much as possible. I know when it comes to her, my feelings are getting deeper by the day. She's surely beneath my skin in a way I don't mind having her there.
"I'm sorry," I murmur against her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo, loving the floral mixed with something purely her. "I'm a fucking idiot."
She doesn't pull away, but she doesn't lean into me either. That's almost worse. I'd rather her slap me than give me this careful, measured stillness.
"You're not an idiot," she says quietly, refusing to meet my gaze. "I shouldn't have brought it up. We're still barely a thing and?—"
"I am," I disagree, interrupting her as I grip her chin, tilting her head back. "Look at me, sweetheart."
Delaney slowly brings her eyes to me, and the twist in my gut tightens even further at the hurt I see in them.
"It's not that I don't want to tell him, Laney. He should know. Just at the moment, my head's fucked with the shit from the past," I admit, telling her the truth. Delaney's lips part to say something, but I keep going with more truths that scare even me. "I want us to tell him. I know without a fucking doubt he'll be over the moon thrilled to be a big brother. But I want us to make sure that you're completely free and clear. That you’re not going to lose the twins."
The beating she'd taken is still fresh in my head, and the fear that sparks in her eyes quickly morphs to anger with my words. Not to mention the stress she's been under with all the other bullshit. The fire. The school. It's a lot for anyone.
"Do you think I'm being careless with this pregnancy?" she demands, yanking away, putting distance between us. "You think I would intentionally put my children in danger? That I'd be stupid enough to allow anyone to hurt me the way Philip did?"
I drop my hands to my waist and glare down at my boots briefly before landing on her again. "You're not careless, nor are you stupid by any means," I grind out, keeping my anger in check. "Never said you were, sweetheart. That's you putting words in my mouth. I said I want to make sure you're free and clear. That you and the babies are good because of what happened to you. You didn't do a damn thing wrong. Some asshole is the one to blame. You've got an appointment in three weeks. After we see the doctor again, we can discuss whether to tell him. That's all I'm trying to get at."
Her eyes widen at my words, and I watch the anger drain from her face, replaced by something softer. Vulnerable. The way she looks at me makes my chest ache.
"You really mean that?" she whispers, her voice catching.
"I mean every damn word, Laney." I step closer, careful not to crowd her. "I'm not trying to control this situation. I just . . . I need to know you're okay. The three of you are okay."
"After the appointment," she repeats, nodding.
"I promise you. We'll tell Dash right after," I tell her, meaning every word. "If you want, we'll sit down together and tell him properly. Maybe make it special somehow. Get him one of those big brother shirts or something."
Delaney smiles while nodding, the tension between us draining away. "I'd like that."
From the corner of my eye, I catch Dash doing wheelies in the driveway, showing off for us. The kid's getting pretty good on that bike.
"Look at me, Daddy!" he calls out, releasing the handlebars for a split second before grabbing them again.