“Lox?”
“Verena,” he replies, and I feel his breathing begin to calm.
“Where are we?” I ask under my breath, pulling my attention back to Loxen. He’s already staring down at me, like his eyes never left.
“I’m not sure,” he admits, shaking his head solemnly. “I thought it was hell, at first, where no one could see me, but I could see them. Until you arrived, that is,” he admits and kisses my forehead. “But you can’t stay, little crow,” he tells me calmly.
“What are you talking about?” I prop myself up on an elbow, searching his face for answers quicker than he can deliver them.
Loxen regards me with quiet devastation. “It’s not your time yet.”
My heart sinks. Pushing myself onto my knees, I climb onto his lap, straddling him. It’s then I realize I’m not wearing my cloak, or even my usual academy attire, but the white silk dress I’d been gifted when I first arrived at the manor. On my chest, where a gash from Reed’s blade should have split my skin, is nothing but unscathed, soft flesh. Loxen drinks me in, with his dark hair feathering over his brow, and I place gentle hands overhis cheeks. Savouring the sight of him, I take in this moment as a memory I shall keep with me forever. Running my fingers through his tousled hair, I trail my fingers down the side of his cheek, memorizing every detail of his face—the hard set of his jaw, the small scar above his eyebrow and the light dusting of freckles over his nose. It’s like I’m truly seeing him for the very first time. Touching him for the first time feels surreal, but also entirely comfortable, as if I’ve known him all my life. Anxiety slithers through me at the thought of having to leave him again.
“No.” I shake my head. “I won’t go back, Ican’tgo back.” A tear streaks down my cheek. Loxen doesn’t say a word. “You tried to tell me how you felt, but I was afraid,” I admit, “and I pushed you away. Because I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved, and I wouldn’t survive losing you, too.”
Taking his hand, I place it over my heart, letting him feel the thumping of the most vulnerable part of me.
“Feel this?” His lips are slightly parted as he watches the rise and fall of my chest where his hand rests.
“This beats for you. My heart has always been yours, Loxen. I’ve just been too stubborn to admit it—to you and to myself.” I’m rambling, but I feel like I can’t get the words out fast enough.
“I-I love you, Loxen.”I think I have for a very long time.
Loxen’s breaths are uneven as he stares at me, at a loss for words.
Peering up at him beneath my lashes, I see the longing in his stare. “Say something, assho?—”
His lips crash into mine. Hard and demanding, yet with a passion that consumes me. The world around us ceases to exist. At this moment in time, it is just him and I, two lost souls tethered to each other as if it was never supposed to be any other way. Loxen snakes his arms around my waist, flipping us over without breaking our kiss. He kisses me with fervour as my back presses into the soft grass of the manor grounds. Here, in thegarden, surrounded by a bed of irises, is where we were always meant to find each other. Where we’re always meant to be. I’ve never belonged anywhere the way I belong to him.
“My love for you knows no bounds. I could live and die a thousand times, and my heart would still find its way back to you. I am yours, Verena, through life and death.”
A tear slides down my cheek. Loxen tenderly wipes it away with the pad of his thumb, and the sensation of his delicate skin against mine is something I long for more of.
“Loxen, I can’t lose you. I don’t want to leave.” I rake my fingers through his hair, our bodies pressed together, sending a heartbeat to my most intimate areas. His finger finds my lips.
“I know. But we don’t have much time, little crow. I don’t want to waste a single moment we have together.”
I nod, my breath coming in slow and steady. Loxen peers down, watching the way my breasts dip with each exhale.
“I’ve waited far too long to have you.” His cobalt eyes darken with a ravenous hunger. Dipping his head, he peppers gentle kisses on the tops of my breasts, and I tip my head back, allowing him better access. I’m lost in his touch, and I don’t ever want to be found.
“More,” comes out in a needy whisper. Loxen’s devilish smirk makes an appearance, and my heart flutters in my chest. He captures my lips again, far gentler than before, though no less ardent, and I watch desire flicker beneath his delicate restraint. His fingers travel up my inner thigh, and something that should be as effortless as breathing becomes difficult.
“Loxen,” I whimper, urging him to keep going. His fingers snake up to the edge of my panties, where he traces lazy circles around the edge of the fabric.
“Do you want me to touch you, little crow?” The raspy sound of his voice makes me squeeze my thighs together. A sinful grin graces his lips, and I feel like I’m on a tilt-a-whirl, spinning and spinning on a high I never want to come down from.
“Please!” I whine as I buck my hips forward, craving more of his touch.
“I like it when you beg, pretty girl.” I give him my best scowl.
“Touch me, Lox.” My voice is breathy as he slips his hand beneath the hem of my panties and slides his fingers through the folds of my aching pussy.
He withdraws his hand, showcasing the glistening wetness he’s discovered, and smirks.
“Is this all for me, Verena?” His smile is wicked, like he knows just how much I crave him.
“Assho—” He slides his two fingers into my mouth, urging me to suck my arousal off of him. I wrap my lips around them, swirling my tongue, ensuring I clean off every last drop.