And sending her away, he could see now, wasn’t going to actually do anything to aid her in that task. He was just scared—scared about what might happen if she got caught up in the middle of their takedown of Granger and the trafficking ring. What might happen if she was targeted. That thought was more terrifying than anything else.
Instead of thinking with his head, he’d led with his feelings. That worried him, too. Knowing he cared so deeply for someone to be scared down to his bones for their well-being. He wasn’t sure how to deal with that. His sister was one thing…she was family. But now, she had Xavier to look after her. But, Sarah… She was something entirely different. He was having a hard time processing it all.
And the kiss.
He wasn’t sure what had come over him in that moment. The way she was looking at him, it just lit a fire inside him—something urgent and demanding he couldn’t ignore. Like that might have been the last chance he had to kiss her. And he was sure as hell not going to pass it up.
Normally, at this time in the evening, she was reading a book somewhere outside, enjoying the longer evenings with a glass of wine. Now he didn’t know what she was doing. He had seen her at dinner, but she had ignored him, refusing to so much as make eye contact. He couldn’t blame her. He’d been an insensitive jerk.
Wandering out to the back porch, he found her reclined on one of the lounge chairs, next to the cold plunge tub. She had a book in one hand and a glass of white wine in the other, condensation forming on the glass.
She glanced up at him, and her eyes narrowed as she laid down her book on her lap. “If you’ve come to talk to me about leaving, save your breath,” she told him. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“That’s not what I came here to talk about—”
“I’m not leaving my home,” she went on, as though she hadn’t even heard him. “And before you say anything about the trauma, I’ve signed up for an online therapist group I got from the recommendation of a colleague I went to school with. The group is going to match me up with a therapist as soon as possible.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” he replied. “But I don’t want you to leave, Sarah.”
She stared at him like he had grown an extra head. “But you said…”
“I know what I said,” he admitted, shoulders slumping down. “Do you mind if I sit?”
“Go ahead,” she murmured, not taking her eyes off him. She seemed to have softened slightly, now that he’d told her he wanted her to stay, and he sank down into one of the seats beside her, wishing he had his own glass of wine to take the edge off this conversation.
“I—I’m sorry about the way I spoke to you,” he explained. “I know it wasn’t right. I was just trying to wrap my head aroundsome stuff that’s been happening around here, and I thought you would be better off somewhere else.”
“What’s been happening?” she asked, tensing slightly.
He knew he had to level with her. She was perceptive, and if he tried to keep anything from her, she was just going to figure it out in her own time, anyway…and then be even more hurt that he had hidden it.
“We’ve been presented with an urgent case and we’re running a tactical operation out of the lodge,” he explained. “The guy we’re taking on, he’s…a big deal. Influential. And we need to act fast.”
Her jaw hung open. “I thought you guys were done with all of that?” she asked, dumbfounded.
“I thought we were, too,” he admitted. “But I can’t walk away from this one. I have to try to help, if I can. A friend of mine, she’s in danger, and the guy who’s after her… I can’t in good conscience just let him continue on with the level of destruction he’s causing. He needs to be stopped so she and others can be safe.”
“And what about you?” she asked softly. “Are you going to be okay?”
He straightened his shoulders. “I’ll be fine,” he replied. “The guys and I are good at what we do. Besides, this is who I am. This is what I’ve always done.”
“It doesn’t have to stay that way, though,” she whispered.
He sighed. “I don’t know about that,” he replied. “I just know I have to deal with this. No matter what. I can’t let this guy get away. And I just… I didn’t want you around when it happened. I thought he might target this place if he gets wind of what we’re doing, and I wanted you gone so you wouldn’t be in his line of fire if that happened.”
“You could have just told me that,” she pointed out, but he could see the flicker of a smile on her face. He might not havegone about this the right way, but at least she could see that his intentions were pure.
“I know, and I should have,” he agreed. “I should have come clean from the start. I know this isn’t my decision to make, and you can’t make a choice for yourself unless you have all the information you need.”
“Thank you for telling me,” she replied, and she reached over to give his hand a squeeze. “Can you tell me anything about this operation? Why it’s so important to you?”
“I can’t tell you too much,” he responded. “There’s only so much information we have access to right now.”
“I’ll take whatever you can give me. I assume it has to be pretty major to have you guys involved?”
“Yeah, this guy’s into a lot of illegal stuff. But the main thing we’re focusing on are the kidnappings happening in this area,” he admitted to her. “They could be related to sex trafficking by this guy and his crew.”
The blood drained from her face and she lowered her gaze, clearly shocked by what he’d just said.