But, as he knew all too well, just because you wanted to leave something behind, it didn’t mean it wasn’t going to come looking for you at some point or another. So if he could help her get through this, then he would.
He owed her that much.
He jumped into his truck and pulled away from the sanctuary, watching the main building shrink in his rearview mirror. Andhe said a brief prayer to whoever might be listening that whatever was going on with Lainey didn’t cause any more trouble at Warrior Peak.
Because God only knew they had been through enough lately as it was.
Chapter Four
Sarah took a deep breath as she hovered in the doorway to the dining room. This should have been a calm, relaxing part of her day, a chance to unwind with the people she cared about, and catch up with others about things going on at the lodge.
Instead, she knew she needed to talk to Toby after what had transpired earlier in his therapy session. The way she had reacted had been so unprofessional and she felt awful about it. He had every right to be upset by her behavior and she needed to make things right. She didn’t want to be the cause of a setback in his recovery.
Smoothing down her skirt, Sarah walked over to Toby, who was serving himself up a generous portion of mac and cheese from the large pot on the table. He glanced over at her as she drew closer to him, and she could see the annoyance on his face. She didn’t blame him. He’d come to her for help, after all, and she had freaked out on him. He was perfectly within his rights to be annoyed or angry at her for what had happened.
“Hey, Toby, do you have a minute?” she asked him and glanced around, making sure no one else was approaching. She wanted to apologize to him but she didn’t want everyone else to know what was going on.
He sighed and put down his plate, turning to face her. “Sure,” he replied. The current residents at Warrior Peak were a small enough group of people that, if someone wanted to talk, it was better to just get it over with and have a conversation with them.It was useless to try to avoid them, and he knew that as well as anyone.
“Thanks,” she murmured, and she twisted her hands into a knot in front of her, trying to remember what she’d practiced in her head before she’d come over. “Um, I wanted to apologize about what happened earlier,” she explained. “In your session.”
“Right,” he replied, eyeing her with obvious doubt.
She took a deep breath, and forced herself to keep going. “When you got emotional,” she continued. “It triggered something in me. And I know that’s not fair. I know you come to me for help because you want guidance and to work through everything that’s happened to you. It’s not your fault that some of what we were talking about brought my unpleasant memories to the surface.”
She realized she was rambling, and slowed herself down, taking a deep breath, trying to ground herself in the moment. The smell of the food around her, the chatter of people filling the room. See? She was okay. She could do this. She wasn’t going to start freaking out again, not a chance in hell.
“It triggered my flight response and that’s why I shut down like I did,” she went on. “I had a panic attack, and I know that’s not helpful for you in the work that you’re doing. I should have been able to handle my own triggers better, but I need you to know that they had nothing to do with you. It was all on me. Your emotions are completely valid, and I apologize for how I reacted.”
He nodded slowly. She could see some of the doubt and irritation starting to edge away now that she had explained it to him.
“I know that wasn’t an appropriate interaction for us to have as a patient and a therapist, and I understand completely if you’d like to seek care elsewhere,” she said. “There are a few great therapists I can put you in touch with if that’s how you’d like tomove forward. But, if you’re willing to give me another chance, I would love to pick up where we left off.”
Finally, a smile crossed his face, and he shook his head. “I don’t want to work with anyone else,” he replied. “I’d like to keep working with you, Sarah. If you think it’s going to be okay for you.”
“It will be,” she promised him, a flood of relief washing through her. She wasn’t sure how she would have felt if he had accepted her offer to set him up with a new therapist, but she was relieved he was willing to let her try again. He clearly had some level of trust in her, despite how messy things had gotten before.
“Thanks, Sarah,” he told her. “Now, if you don’t mind, I want to have some dinner.”
“Of course,” she replied. “Don’t let me stop you.”
And, as she stood there, she realized that her stomach was grumbling. After the messed-up session and the way the rest of her morning had gone, she’d lost her appetite. But now, it seemed to be coming back. The food smelled so good.
She grabbed herself a plate and started to load it up, and then went to join the rest of the staff sitting with the current guests at the long table that ran down the center of the dining room.
She slid in next to Hannah, who was sitting beside Xavier, as she always was these days. Opposite her sat Aaron, and then Cade and River, who were chatting about something that caused River’s cheeks to flush. Sarah smiled at the love that shined brightly from the couple. They deserved it after what they’d been through the year before at the lodge.
There were a couple of people missing, though. Bailey would still be down in Blue Ridge finishing her shift at the police station, but Lawson seemed to be absent. That was unusual. Sarah glanced around, wondering if she was missing something,but if she was, she couldn’t figure it out. Maybe he had just gotten called away for something more important than a meal?
She tried to focus on the food in front of her, not letting her mind wander off in too many directions. Her thoughts drifted back to the text he’d received. Hopefully, it wasn’t bad news and Lawson was just busy with something around the property. She’d have to catch up to him later.
She wanted to check in with him, though, and tell him that she’d smoothed things out with Toby and that he still wanted to work with her. That would prove that she didn’t need to take a break, right?
Sarah ate quietly, glad to just be surrounded by people she knew she could trust. She was starting to feel a whole lot better compared to the mess that she was earlier in the day and she could almost convince herself that she was already putting it behind her. That was what she had to believe, anyway.
“Yeah, I mean, I’ve seen it reported in a couple of places…”
Sarah turned her head to tune in to the conversation happening down the table. Kieran Abbott, one of the new arrivals, had his brow furrowed as he recounted it to Xavier, sitting next to him.