But Cody was just an excuse. The part I couldn’t deny—at least to myself—was knowing that this thing between us was becoming too real and important to pretend otherwise.
Breaking a dry spell in the woods out of convenience? I could file that away under “wild adventure fling” and move on with my life. But these growing feelings for Jensen terrify me in ways I’m not ready to examine. So I let him give me two more orgasms, but drew the line at allowing him to hold me while I slept. Totally rational, right?
My phone vibrates on the nightstand just as I’m swinging my legs over the side of the mattress. It’s a FaceTime request from Sadie, and I settle back against the fluffy pillows before answering.
Two faces fill the screen. Sadie’s golden hair is piled in a messy bun, and Piper sits beside her, practically glowing even though sheinsists she’s not a morning person. I hear a single dog bark and recognize the background as the porch at Sadie and Ian’s house.
“Morning, wilderness warrior,” Piper says, holding up her mug in a spirited toast.
I’ve talked to everyone in the book club at least once since I got back into cell service. They’re all furious on my behalf about Kristen leaving early and taking the ATV shortcut instead of hiking in, as her social media claimed. And while they’ve been supportive of me doing the initial trek, they’ve been less than enthusiastic about my decision to trail her to Tahoe. I’ve also kept the details about Jensen vague, saying that having him along turned out to be convenient more than anything else. I don’t think any of them believe me. But it’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
“How are you feeling?” Sadie asks, her eyes searching my face through the screen.
Like someone gave me two orgasms before I fell asleep last night, but I definitely don’t say that out loud.
“Good,” I tell them instead. “The bed in the rental is a big improvement from trail accommodations, so I’m feeling pretty well rested.”
Piper raises a brow, like she’s not entirely picking up what I’m laying down, but she doesn’t push.
“You know the funny thing?” I continue, pulling my knees up and wrapping my free arm around them. “I was so worried about what Kristen would think of me when I started this whole thing. How she would react to some random fan showing up on her doorstep in the middle of her writing retreat. But now...” I trail off, trying to find the right words. “Maybe some books are better left on the shelf.”
“You don’t have to go see her today,” Sadie says.
“It’s my bucket list challenge. How can I not see it through when the rest of you did?”
“It’s not your fault the chick bailed on her own cabin,” Piper offers, her voice firm. “That says more about her than it doesabout you. You did what you set out to do. You hiked into the wilderness and proved you’re a badass. That’s huge, even though the rest of us already knew it.”
“It doesn’t feel huge,” I admit, and the truth of that sits under my skin like an itch I can’t quite reach. “Or like it means anything. Not yet. The rest of your challenges changed your lives in meaningful ways. And I’m…” I pause, swallowing past the tightness in my throat.
“You’re this close to kicking cancer’s ass.” Piper holds up her thumb and pointer finger, barely a centimeter apart. “That’s meaningful in a way none of the rest of us came close to.”
“That’s why this is so important to me,” I say with a sigh. “Because it’s me doing something that has nothing to do with a stupid disease. Something that’s just mine. Something I chose because I wanted it, not because I was fighting for my life.”
“Oh, Sloane.” Sadie’s voice is gentle like a butterfly kiss. It makes my eyes sting. “You’ve already done something incredible. You didn’t let cancer define this trip. You made it about adventure and courage and going after what you wanted.”
“Even if what—or who—I wanted to be a part of it turned out to be a big disappointment,” I say with a weak laugh.
“She doesn’t matter,” Sadie says adamantly. “And neither does some specific end point you started with. You’ve seen all of us through our bucket list journeys. You know none of them turned out the way we thought.”
“They turned out better,” Piper adds.
“The point of the challenge,” Sadie continues, “Isn’t the destination. It’s who you become on the way there.”
I nod, not trusting my voice, and Piper’s grin returns, a little sly around the edges.
“So,” she says, drawing out the word, “speaking of the journey… Are you bringing a hot country crooner back to Skylark with you?”
“No,” I choke out and nearly drop the phone, glancing towardthe closed door of the bedroom like Jensen and Cody are standing on the other side listening. “Of course not.”
“That was a very fast no,” Sadie observes. “Suspiciously fast.”
“There’s nothing suspicious about it. His life is in Nashville. Mine is in Colorado. This was just—” I wave my hand vaguely, “—a casual wilderness thing.”
“Uh-huh.” Piper doesn’t look convinced. “So casual that he tracked you across multiple states and then followed you into bear country. Does that mean nothing?”
“It means he’s persistent and possibly unhinged.”
“Romantically unhinged,” Piper agrees. “My favorite.”