He should have realized it a long time ago. He loved her fire, the way she called him out when he was being an idiot. He admired her quiet strength and her intelligence. He liked that she stood up for others, even if she wasn’t always capable of standing up for herself. He enjoyed how she played off his banter. He liked it when she was open and vulnerable with him, that she felt safe enough to let him in when she put up barriers to protect herself.
Or she had. He had fucked everything up when he locked her in her room. He had taken away her agency. What he should have done was go somewhere with her, considering how worried she was. He had been a massive asshole.
He had to fix it.
“I need to get home,” he said. Then, before he could even fully register Franco’s mildly bemused expression, he turned and raced down the road.
How could he have been so stupid? He’d been an idiot. Despite that, an overwhelming lightness wrapped around him at the same time. He loved Amber. Admitting it to himself felt like a breath of fresh air.
Now, he just had to hope that Amber would forgive him after his massive fuck-up.
He arrived home in what had to be record time. Something seemed off the second he stepped inside the house. Frowning, he slowed, ears pricked to listen for footsteps on the floor above or any sign of life.
Nothing.
She could be asleep, he thought. But something about that didn’t sit quite right. Frowning, he moved up the stairs, still trying to listen for anything while his instincts continued screaming at him that something was wrong.
He got to her door and paused. The light on the other side peered through the crack at the bottom of the door. She had to still be in here.
He knocked. “Amber?” he called.
Nothing. He knocked again. “Amber?” he called, this time louder.
Again, nothing.
He jammed his ear up against the door, listening, trying to hunt for the sound of rhythmic breathing or snores in case she was asleep. But the only sound he heard was a gentle rustle of wind, which made no sense.
Unease crawling up his spine, he grasped the key still sticking out of the lock. He stayed like that for a long moment, hesitating, his instincts screaming at him that something was wrong. It took all his willpower not to break down the door to get inside quicker. Slowly, not sure what he would find on the other side of the door, but knowing he wasn’t going to like it, he unlocked the door and cracked it open.
The room was empty.
He stared at the perfectly made bed, as if no one had so much as sat on it. His eyes swept across the room, hoping that maybe he had missed something, but there was no sign of life anywhere. It was as if she’d never been in here in the first place.
He stepped further in, hoping that she might be pressed against the wall or hiding somewhere he couldn’t see from the door.
“Amber?” he said. “I need to talk to you.”
Nothing. His stomach clenched, and his jaw tightened. He didn’t need to look around any further to know that Amber was gone.
He tried to still the swirling panic trying to overtake him. He needed to think rationally. The sound of rustling wind came back to him, followed by a gentle breeze. Turning, his eyes fell on the open window.
Racing over, he grasped the sill and peered down. In the grass, he could barely make out a rectangular patch where all the blades had been pushed flat, as if something had smushed it down. Around the base of the large tree next to him, he could make out footprints.
He stared for a long time, as if trying to picture what must have happened, though he already knew. After a moment, hetwisted to look back at the empty room, as if she would suddenly appear at the door, though he knew that wasn’t going to happen. The breeze pushed against his back, brushing his hair forward.
She’s gone, a voice in his head whispered.She left, and she’s not coming back.
He stepped away from the window, pushing his hair away from his face. It was his fault. She wouldn’t have run if it hadn’t been for him. There was no use denying it. Trying to ignore that fact wasn’t going to do any of them any good.
Amber was gone.
The question was, what did he do now?
He could simply let her go. If she was going to run like this, then it was clear she wanted nothing to do with him. If this was her decision, he had to honor it. He didn’t want to force her back here if she didn’t want to be here, not after everything he had done. If he didn’t go after her, then she could live her life and do what she wanted.
He pushed that thought from his mind instantly. No. She was his wife, no matter what. More importantly, he loved her, and he wasn’t going to let her walk away without apologizing for what he had done to her first. He wouldn’t force her to stay with him, not anymore, but he was going to find her. Even if she still decided to leave, he wanted to make amends first. She deserved an apology. She deserved more.
Closing the window, he made his way out of the house until he was right below her room. Craning his neck, he stared up at the light spilling out of the empty room. Despite everything, he couldn’t help but feel a flash of admiration. He wouldn’t have expected her to scale a tree to get down. She was always full of surprises.