She shook her head. “And here we are, expecting a child anyway. You got your wish, Mark Glenfall.” Ellen spat his name from her mouth like it was a curse.
“I never wanted it like this.” He forced his leg to still.That’s why I never brought it up. I’d let it go.
Her face went white as chalk. “I’d had a horrible day. I was in a vulnerable state. And you had sex with me!”
Hurt flashed through Mark. “Don’t cheapen what we have,” he ground out. He reached across the table for her hand. “You told me to love you, to not leave you alone.”
She laughed mirthlessly. “I’m such a fool. I should’ve guessed this was all about getting an heir.” Ellen set her jaw, arms tightening across her chest. “I didn’t know you had a secret agenda.”
“Secret agenda?” Mark scoffed. “My whole agenda since I returned has been to scrape and grovel and apologize to get back in your good graces.” Anger made his words spill off his tongue, with little heed for what the consequences might be.
“You deny you need to grovel a little?” Ellen’s eyes grew wide, her mouth mocking.
Mark growled, shoving his chair back from the table. “I don’t know how to convince you.” He ran a hand through his hair, starting for the door. His study. He could think in his study. He could come up with a speech, perhaps even write it down, to explain better, to make her understand all he wanted washer.
“So whenever we have a tiff, I have to wonder if you’ll run away again?” Ellen’s words cut like a whip across his heart.
“Tiff?” Mark stared at her. “You consider this atiff? Ellen, you just accused me of seducing you with the basest of intentions, then tucking tail and running.”
Emotion shone in her eyes, but Mark was too angry to guess what it was. “You should’ve told me.”
“I see that now.” Mark bit off the words. “I will remind you, however,Iwas the one who got your herbal tea, andyouwere theone who forgot to take it. So really, this whole situation is your—”Fault.He clicked his teeth shut before the last word escaped, but it was too late. Unsaid, it filled the air around them, until it practically echoed in the silence.
Ellen’s mouth opened, but no sound came out.
Too far,Mark’s brain helpfully told him. They stared at one another in silence, anger making their cheeks bright and chests tight.
“In fact,” Mark broke the silence, “I received a probable offer of scholarship at Wadham College. My plan was to move us there in May, if all goes well.”
“You’re leaving?” Ellen looked like she’d been punched in the gut.
“No, did you not hear me? I saidwewill move to Oxford. You can raise the baby there while I tutor and research.” Mark ignored the warning going off in his head, warning him this was too much, he wasn’t sure about the don position, but the words forced themselves out.
“I don’t want to move to Oxford—they don’t even allow women medical students anyway. My work is here. Medical school is here. Constance ishere.” Ellen curled her lip in disgust at him.
Mark shrugged, anger making him careless. “Well, then I don’t think you can call it abandonment this time, can you? You’re the one who refuses to come with me.”
“You promised.” Ellen’s voice was a whisper.
Guilt blossomed in his chest, right under the anger in full bloom. “Then maybe I’ll live there during the week and come back on the weekends.”
Ellen’s face hardened and she jerked out of her chair. “Do whatever you want. You always do. Far be it from me to hold you back from a lifelong dream. Go ahead and move to Oxford, Ishan’t care. If this child survives, he and I shall live here and you can enjoy your life elsewhere. I was waiting for this to happen, so it’s better it happened now, when we can still part easily.”
“Ellen.” Mark ground his teeth, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “Please, I’m sorry, let’s…can we discuss this later, when we’re calmer?”
Ellen had already stormed from the room, slamming the dining room door behind her.
Mark wanted to throw the plates and silverware across the room, but got hold of himself in time. He stabbed the last slice of bacon and shoved it in his mouth, angrily chewing.
Ellen held backher tears until she was in the cab, riding across SoHo and into St. Giles. Raindrops from her cloak’s cowl slipped inside and trailed down her back. She shivered, wishing she’d had the presence of mind to bring an umbrella.
What was I thinking? I knew he’d do something like this to hurt me.Ellen angrily wiped the scalding tears from her cheeks. She wanted to go to Amelia and spill her woes, asking for her advice: how to keep Mark from breaking her heart?
She worried it might be too late.
When she arrived at the dispensary earlier than usual, she saw Amelia smiling as she waved Jiya goodbye. Ellen exchanged greetings with Jiya at the doorstep, then entered the dispensary, dripping water everywhere. “What was she doing here?”
Amelia blushed to the roots of her hair. “We were having a professional meeting.”