The song comes to an end, and I expect Ebba to pull away, she only said she’d give me one dance after all, but instead she makes no move to break apart.
“The wedding was beautiful, wasn’t it?” she asks, laying her head against my chest.
“It was,” I agree.
“I’m so happy for them.”
“Me too.” I settle the side of my cheek on top of her head and close my eyes.
We move slowly to the song, not saying a word for a bit. She slowly pulls away to look up at me, though.
“Yeah?” I prompt, cupping her cheek.
“I was dreading this,” she admits. “Walking down the aisle with you, taking photos, all of it. But today has been a good day and it’sbecauseI’ve been with you.” She shakes her head. “I hate how easy it is to like you.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Liking me is a bad thing?”
“Not exactly.” She purses her lips, and I can practically see the wheels turning in her head. “I think I feel like there’s something wrong with me—the way I’ve been so angry at you for so long and now suddenly I’m just okay being with you.”
My heart pangs with hurt. I understand why she has her feelings, but it doesn’t make it hurt me any less.
Clearing my throat, I say, “It’s okay to change your mind about me.”
“I know.” Her hand squeezes against my shoulder. “I just … I’m so fucking scared, Fisher.”
“Scared of what, baby?” I raise her chin with my index finger when her head dips.
Her eyes pool with tears. “Having my heart broken again.”
“Oh, baby.” I hold her closer. There are so many things from that time that I wish I could do over again. I would give anything to have pushed harder for her to talk to me. Instead, I let her retreat into her grief while I did the same with mine. “I won’t. And if it makes you feel better, my heart has only ever been yours. I gave it to you, and I never want it back.”
“You can’t mean that.”
I cup her face in my hands. We’ve both stopped swaying to the music but still stand in the center of the dancefloor clinging to each other.
“I do.”
She shakes her head. “You can’t be saying what I think you’re saying.”
“I am.”
“No,” she insists, shaking her head.
“Yes.”I hate that frustration laces my tone, but I can’t stop it. “I haven’t been with a woman since you. I haven’t wanted to.”
“No,” she squeaks again, a tear skating down her cheek.
I wipe it away and keep going. “I haven’t had sex with another woman. I haven’t even kissed another woman. The idea of being with anyone other than you makes me sick to my stomach. I’m not trying to pressure you into anything you don’t want and aren’t ready for. I’m just trying to be honest. It’s always been you for me, Ebba. Always.”
“I’m sorry.” She shakes her head and steps away. “I ... I need a minute.”
I stand frozen, watching her run from the room and out the doors. The desire to follow her is so strong I can barely resist, but something deep down tells me to give her space.
The girls quickly follow her, and I breathe a sigh of relief that she’ll at least have them right now.
I step off the dancefloor and almost immediately Elias is in front of me. “Dude, what the fuck did you say to my sister?”
Noah gives him a slight shove away from me. “Calm down. Give him a chance to talk.”