“Andyouhave been close with Lady Lila.”
Thea had not meant to say anything. Certainly she hadn’t meant to sound slightly caustic.
He frowned, looking tired. “This morning you informed me I was paying too much attention to Lady Sophie and needed to spread my attention around. You can see James has captured Miss Pomfrey’s attention. What should I do? Ignore Lady Lila?”
“You appeared very obliging to her,” Thea had to say in the face of his reasonable explanation.
He took a step back, as if he needed a hard look at her. His voice dropped. “What do you want, Thea?”
She crossed her arms, suddenly needing a barrier between them. “I don’t want anything.”
“Then why do you care which woman I favor?”
“Because,” she said dragging the word out while thinking of a reason. “I never thought of you as a womanizer.”
“A womanizer?” he repeated as if not believing his hearing.
It did sound preposterous, yet Thea felt she had good cause to call him such. “Lady Sophie feelsshe has captured your affections. She believes you are very interested.”
“You know how aggressive Lady Lila is. Yesterday, I used Lady Sophie to keep her at bay. This morning, you didn’t like that. So, today, I let Lady Lila have her lead and, yes, she plastered herself to my side. But what can I do without being rude? She is a very forceful young woman.”
“So youareleading both of them on?” Here was a fault to support her accusation, although, yes, she knew she was being slightly unreasonable.
“I’m not leading anyone anywhere, Thea. You know what I’m looking for. I don’t understand why you are being so crotchety.”
“Crotchety?”She couldn’t believe he’d accused her of such a thing.
“Difficult,” he amended.
“Oh, no, you said crotchety.” She wasn’t letting him off on this one, and it felt good to have something firm andreasonableto explain her feelings.
“I meant difficult,” he reiterated, punctuating the word with one finger aimed at her. “As in, not knowing your own mind, as in fussy, as in hot and cold. I haven’t known what to expect from you since we arrived here.”
Thea took a step forward. “I’ve been very clear in what I’ve been trying to do. Marrying someoneyou do not like is the ridiculous notion. It’s not natural.”
“Do I have to explain myself again—”
“No, I don’t think I could stand to hear it again.” And that was true, but she wasn’t certain why. It was his life. He could do what he would. Still ... “It’s not natural, my lord. It’s not sane.”
“It’s what it is,” he replied bleakly, the anger leaving him. “It’s what it is.”
They stood in the foyer, the door still open, the evening sun filling the room with light—and Thea wanted to grab him and shake him for all he was worth. He was too good a man to marry someone like Lady Lila or into the Carpsley family. He deserved better. Much better.
He was a man of substance, a man who had values and was respected. Anobleman.
And yet he was so obstinate, so convinced he was right in his actions, that he’d throw himself into marriage with some ninny-headed, selfish chit—
“I don’t want to see you trapped in marriage,” she whispered. “I know what it is like, Neal. I was trapped. And marriage is more than having children. It has to be.”
“I don’t expect you to approve of my decisions, Thea.”
“It’s not a matter of approving or disapproving,” she said. She raised a hand as if to take hold of his arm, to urge him to heed her warning, but then drew it back. “I just don’t want—”
She broke off, suddenly uncertain of what she didn’t want. She didn’t want him in a loveless marriage ... but did that mean she didn’t want him in a marriage at all? Withanywoman?
For the past five minutes they had been circling each other. Either could have walked away at any moment, and yet they hadn’t. Worse, she’d been going on like a jealous fishwife—
This could not be.