They were friends, nothing more.Nothingmore.
He frowned, concerned. “Thea, is something the matter?”
She was so aware of him, from the cowlick that gave his hair a little lift above his brow, to the shape of his earlobes, from the weave of the material of his jacket to the dust on his boots—and yet he was here to marry another. He didn’t hear the jealousy in her words.
And he’d already walked away from her before.
Neal wasn’t like her. He didn’thaveto care.
“Everything is as it should be,” she said, choosing her words carefully. She took a step awayfrom him, and then another. “You are right. You are handling this whole situation well—”
“Thea—”
She held up her hand to block any more words between them. “I shall see you at supper.” She took off up the stairs, running from him as fast as she could.
At the top of the stairs, she looked back. He was on the first step, as if he’d started to follow and then had thought differently of it.
For a long moment, their gazes held. She understood.Theycould not be. He would not change his path.
And then he turned away, walking toward the sitting room, where the other men were enjoying a drink.
Thea waited until he was out of sight, and she felt defeated. This was not right, but it wasn’t her place to tell him. Shehadoverstepped her carefully erected boundaries.
She started toward her room and almost walked into Mirabel, who had come up behind Thea without her knowledge.
Mirabel reached out and caught Thea before she ran into her. “I’m so sorry,” Thea said. “I didn’t see you.”
“I am hard to notice,” Mirabel answered. “Are you feeling quite the thing? You look pale.”
“I’m fine,” Thea said, moving past her friend. “Everything is fine.” She kept moving and didn’t stop until she reached the inner sanctum of her room, and there she collapsed.
Sitting at her dressing table, Thea studied her reflection in the mirror. “You are a fool,” she told herself. “Twiceover.”
Of course, her reflection didn’t argue.
But there was no time to waste feeling sorry for herself. Thea had to think of her sons. That traitorous yearning for someone special in her life, that desire for love and all it promised, were not for her. She’d had her chance, and she’d bungled it.
And perhaps her words with Lyon hadn’t been such a bad thing. It brought him down to earth from her youthful dreams of “what might have been” to “what is.” Since everyone had their own self-interest at heart, including Lyon, with his talk of sons and curses, and Mirabel, with her social climbing, well, perhaps Thea should be mercenary as well. If the Carpsley connection could place Jonathan in Westminster, why shouldn’t she take advantage of it?
In truth, the possibility of dirty play and troches from Lord Corkindale made Thea determined tokeep the willful Lady Lila from becoming the next Lady Lyon.
There, she now had a purpose.
So determined, Thea dressed for dinner.
Lady Sophie joined them at the table, and Lyon paid great attention to her. Thea decided over the creamed peas and her third glass of wine that they would make beautiful children—Sophie with her blonde beauty and Lyon with his dark handsomeness. Oh, yes, adorable children. She smiled as the footman refilled her glass.
Thea didn’t usually drink more than one glass, but today had been a challenging day.
And it continued to be a challenging evening. Lady Lila did her best to reclaim Lyon. He kept his distance. He, Mirabel, Sir James, and Lady Sophie were involved in a spirited game of cards that had all the others gathered around them. Thea’s presence was not needed, and it made her feel a bit alone.
He also didn’t look at Thea. Not once.
She knew because she kept her eye on him.
Mirabel excused herself from the table, giving her card hand over to Miss Pomfrey. She wandered over to where Thea sat in a corner. “What is the matter with you?” she whispered.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Thea answered.