"Wanna come to the park with us?" Gareth blurts out, and it causes a grin to tug on my lips. The flags wave harder, but abigger part of me really wants to see Dad Gareth in action. I'm starting to like him a lot more than I should. Maybe if he's a shitty father, I can put this crush to rest.
Too many men have kids and let the woman do the majority of the active parenting. Nothing would give me the ick more.
"Sure," I say, and warm, liquid honey spreads through my chest at his blinding smile.
"Alright, guys, lemme pack a bag, and we can go to the park. Micah, go grab your baseball bag, and Lil go grab anything you're going to want to play with," he says, turning quickly and pulling a backpack out of a closet I hadn't noticed.
He turns his back to me to open the cabinets and the fridge, filling the backpack with snacks as my eyes drop to his ass. I can't help it. I am only a man. A vision of him, on his back, my tongue in his ass flashes across my mind, and I clear my throat, wrangling my errant thought before we're around minors again.
Unfortunately, Gareth catches me checking out his ass, and the bashful grin he gives me makes me think he's remembering the same thing.
The kids thunder back into the kitchen, Micah with a black backpack with a baseball bat tied to the outside, and Lily trails behind him with a book and a Barbie doll under one arm.
Gareth sets his backpack on the floor, pulling his baseball glove out of the closet and shoving it in the bag. Micah puts his bag down, too, and takes the book and doll from his sister, adding them to his bag for her.
Gareth watches the interaction and smiles fondly.
As we're filing out of the apartment, Gareth ruffles his son's head and whispers, "Proud of you, son." Tears prick my eyes. He not only noticed his son's actions but also made sure to show his approval and was liberal with his praise. Micah smiles up at his father, and my chest tightens.
Shit.
I follow behind them silently, waiting as he locks the door and leads us out onto the street. The kids skip ahead of us on the sidewalk, holding hands. Micah places himself on the side closest to the road. I don't know what I expected Gareth to be like as a father, but in the few seconds I've been around them, it's obvious he's raising great kids.
I lean into his space a little, pressing my shoulder against his. "I'm starting to suspect you might have turned into a really good man, Brockman."
I watch in satisfaction as pink creeps up his neckline and colors the apples of his cheeks.
"Thanks," he whispers in return. We pass a few other people minding their own business, and I wonder if we look like a couple. Like two dads taking their kids to the park. My mind has been a jumbled mess lately; two sides believing two completely different things. One wants to get to know Gareth better - likes being around him - and wants more. One warns me to keep things professional.
The first side is getting bigger by the minute. Every blush, every smile, every time he shows me he's actually a really good man, it makes me want more.
A touch so light I barely feel it grazes the back of my hand, and I look down, realizing it was the back of his hand. I smile, wondering whether he meant to do that on purpose or not.
I imagine sliding my hand into his. I imagine this being our Sunday morning routine with the kids. Would I want that life? I never thought about being a father or being an influence on a child. If I keep hanging out with Gareth, outside of work, it means hanging out with his kids.
Kind of like I'm doing today.
I should bail.
I'm not going to bail.
I want to see more of Gareth being a good man and a good dad. I'm feeling a little addicted to the idea, honestly.
The kids drop back to hold Gareth's hand and look both ways before crossing the street. Gareth drops his bag by a bench and takes out the glove while Micah hands Lily her book and Barbie. Lily flops onto her stomach and sets her Barbie up against her shoulder so she can read to her. She's only five, so the words are slow and simple, but it brings a smile to my face.
"You wanna throw?" Gareth asks me. "I can give you my glove?"
"Naw, that's alright. I'll hang out with Lil for a bit," I reply. I don't want to take time away from father-son bonding. They find a place that it seems they've thrown before, still close enough to Lil to keep an eye on her, but far enough she won't get hit if a throw goes wild.
After watching the boys throw for a bit, I sit on the ground cross-legged next to Lily. "Can I listen, too?"
She smiles up at me, not an ounce of fear in sight. "I'm not a very good reader, but Sally doesn't mind."
Sally must be the name of the Barbie. "I wasn't a very good reader, either, when I was your age, but I got better with practice."
"That's what my dad says, too."
"He's a smart man."