“I want to…but…”
“Money problems?” he finishes, and I nod. “There are ways around that, you know. I’m sure you could get into something if you wanted to go.”
“It’s more complicated than that…”
“What? Your parents don’t want you to leave home?” he laughs.
I flinch. My fingers tighten on my pants, and I gnaw on the inside of my cheek.
Conner’s eyes widen, and he immediately clicks when I don’t respond…or laugh with him. “Seriously? That’s fucking selfish!”
“What are you going to do after school?” I breathe as I unclench my fists. “You said you argued with your parents because you didn’t want to go to uni, but you didn’t say what you wanted to do.”
“I’d like to travel the world—paint and sell my art on the streets.” He leans in with a smile. “At least for a year. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll go to uni or something, I guess.”
I nod as I overlook the car park.
“Maybe you can come with me,” he says.
“What?”
“You heard me.” He puts on his blinker and waits for the car to reverse out of the spot. “I’ll sweep you away, and you can travel the world with me. It will be fun.”
I imagine that. Daydream it, actually. I can see myself packing my belongings, and while Dad drinks away his life, I will leave with no remorse, unshackling the ball and chain I call home. Conner would pick me up at the bus stop, and when we would go straight to the airport, board any plane that left far from here.
Then, we will sell different concept art pieces. Conner will draw portraits, while mine will be fantasy-filled. I can even do fanart. Samantha loves it when I sketch her favourite anime character for her.
The caravan we live in will be parked near the beach, and we will overlook the sunset. I’d lean into Conner, feeling safe and overwhelmed with emotions as his hand cups my cheek, and those hazel eyes close as he leans in, a breath away from a?—
“What are you daydreaming about?” Conner asks, ripping me out of my maladaptive daydream.
I blush and say, “Nothing,” as I shuffle out of the car.
“You’re red. It must have been steamy.”
I bite my upper lip.
“I hope you were thinking of kissing me,” Conner jokes.
My shoulders hunch, and I wish I didn’t exist. I’d rather be a fly, even knowing their lifespan is ridiculously short. At least then, the embarrassment would only last a few days rather than the rest of my life.
“Yeah,” I say, breathing a shaky laugh. “You wish.”
“I do.”
Heat burns across my cheeks, blazing as hot as the sun.
26
TENSION
I standon the beach and the wet sand. My feet sink as if in quicksand, and it sucks me under while the water laps at my ankles. The sound of peaceful, slumbering waves crashes through my eardrums.
I want it to stay like this. Listen to the sweet sound, but the world doesn’t work like that for me.
The water sucks up into the ocean, and as I stand there, I overlook the enormous tsunami that grows larger by the moment. Stuck here, I can’t run while everyone else can. They break towards the land, hoping to get out of there before the roaring wave crashes down.
The tsunami rises, and angry growls tear out like a drunken fool stumbling through the front door. And when the wave is over the top of me, and as I raise my arms to shield myself, the water crashes down, drowning me in a surge of pain that swells across my stomach and legs.