I open my mouth, wanting to scream, but the water slips down my throat, clamping my mouth shut like a hand resting over it and suppressing the echoes of my screams. Nearby,there’s a bruised woman with a busted lip. She floats in the water with her body not struggling. No sign of movement.
No signs of life.
Why did the tsunami come? It was a wonderful day, and that night, I spent it in the car, listening to music and talking to a guy who made my heart flutter. Everything was going so smoothly until it hit. The tsunami wondered why the card declined when they wanted one last beer before the drive home.
It was hard to reason with the tsunami as it crashed into me. It didn’t understand that money comes in weekly, and it spent it all before I could work again. But the tsunami had one agenda: to crash into me. And this time, as I lay in the sand after it passed, I wished I were dead.
Pain shuddersacross my legs as I squat down at recess. A hiss of breath seethes through clenched teeth, and a sigh mixed with a grunt comes out as I lean against the bricks. It’s too hot today, but the cold bricks against my back help. I wish I could have worn shorts, but the bruises are noticeable across my thighs and knees.
Wylan and Dylan hop over the fence and head to the supermarket behind the school to grab snacks. Samantha leans against the wall beside me and starts writing a list of things she needs for this all-girls camping trip. As she prattles on, she helps me mentally note what I need to bring with me.
“Are you excited?” Andy asks as he sits beside me.
“Huh? Oh…yeah. I’ve never been camping before,” I murmur.
“I meant for tonight,” he says, his voice smaller. “I’m taking you to work.”
“You are?” Samantha asks as she raises her perfectly waxed brows. Her dark eyes settle onto me. “No Conner?”
Andy’s hands flex, and his jaw locks.
“No, he will pick me up after work,” I say.
“Of course,” Andy scoffs. “He’s such agentleman.”
I eye Andy before I look away and ignore his snide, bitter remark. The thought reminds me of how Andy acted after I joined his group. Wylan handed me a cigarette, and Andy didn’t like that. And before that, when we were in primary school, a boy sent me a note. A harmless note, but Andy thought the guy would do something manipulative, so he prevented the guy from talking to me again.
Now that I think about it, there were many instances when Andy shouldn’t have pushed them away. After meeting Conner, I know not everyone is evil or corrupt. Not every boy I meet wants to hurt me. But I overlooked this because I relied on someone for protection. Yet, now I see his protective motives are unclear in these moments. Clouded about his reasons from the beginning.
“What are we doing this afternoon?” I ask.
“Well, you don’t start until six, right?” I nod my response. “So, I have a few things I need to do beforehand. You can tag along.”
My hands tighten on my jeans, but the smile on my face is the focus. “Sure.”
Andy smiles as he leans his head back against the wall. “We used to do those drives all the time when I first got my license. I don’t remember why they stopped.”
“Neither,” I lie.
The bell rings when Dylan and Wylan return from the supermarket. Samantha goes to Dylan’s side, and Andy and I walk to Creative Arts. He speaks about the assignment he finally handed in, but senses he won’t be marked highly for it.
Conner is already in class. He sits at the back, notices me, smiles, and gestures to the chair beside him. Andy notices, and his grunting noise of irritation comes through loud and clear as he sits at the table we always sit at.
I’m torn, but after grabbing my art book, I sit beside Andy because I don’t want to change what I’ve done for the past year. A moment later, Conner drags his seat to our desk and slumps beside me with his wide grin and wink. Heat burns against my cheeks as I look away.
“Today is free work,” Mr Rogers announces. “Draw, paint, write, read—do whatever you want today because our lesson tomorrow will be a lot to take in.”
“What’s it about?” Poppie asks.
“Now, why would I spoil the assignment ahead of time?”
“An assignment?” Andy groans. “Why can’t they fuck off for a week?”
I dart a quick look at Andy and grimace.
“Noya,” Conner whispers as he leans towards me. “Is there something wrong with your legs?”
“Why?”