“Noya,” Conner breathes. “Uh…I will pick you up tomorrow morning.”
I nod before heading out the door with Olivia. She doesn’t talk as we walk, and as I settle into her Ute, I notice Conner at his car with a cigarette pressed between his lips as he watches us. Blinking away the tears, I turn to Olivia and tell her where I live. She knows the street.
I touch my chest, and it’s like his hand is still there…gripping?—
With a shake of my head, I lower my hand onto my lap when my phone vibrates. I close my eyes and suppress the urge tosee who sent the message. I’m hoping it’s Samantha, and she’s talking about the girls’ camping trip.
Anyone but them.
Inside my coldand uninviting home, I enter my room and place my bag on the bed before crawling under the covers. Grabbing the pillow, I wrap my arms around it, and warmth easily slips down and soaks into the cotton fabric. My arms shake, my body trembles, and the flood of memories I want erased repeats in my head, numbing me to the bone.
My phone vibrates again. This time, I flip it over to see who it's from.
Conner: Are you okay?
Conner: What did Andy do?
Conner: Noya, can you please answer me? Tell me you got home safe. Anything.
Me: I’m home. Nothing happened. But I’m going to take the bus tomorrow morning if that’s okay.
I place my phone down when it keeps vibrating. Conner’s name appears on the screen. In a panic, I decline the call. A message comes through a second after the call.
Conner: Noya, did Andy do something to you? Did he hurt you?
Me: I’m too tired to talk, Conner. I will see you at school tomorrow. Good night.
Conner: Noya…
Conner: Sweet dreams.
I tuck my phone under my bed and tug on the blanket until it covers my face. Even though I know it’s boiling, I want to hide my skin from everyone.
I wakeup late and groggy. Sitting upright in bed, I smooth my curly hair away from my face and gaze around the room. It was eerily quiet last night, but that worked to my benefit.
I grab the clothes littering the ground, uncaring of appearance, and shrug on anything I can find. In sweats and a daggy long jumper, I pull the hood over my head. As I leave the room, Mum raises her hand in greeting, but flinches away as I glare at her before heading to the door and making my way to school.
Unwinding my earphone cord, I place them in my ears and “Shattered” by Trading Yesterday fills the void. All the sounds, whispers, and memories erase when there is music to listen to. And so, I crowd my mind with lyrics while walking to the bus stop.
As I get to the bus stop, I look up from the path and stiffen. Conner leans against the bus stop post. Those hazel eyes seem as if they can see right through me. So, looking away from him, I twist the earphone cord around my fingertips as I sit and takeout one earpiece. I glare at the pavement, and my foot pushes a pebble away to pass the time.
After a moment, Conner sits beside me, his elbows on his knees, and his face coming into focus. Brown hair falls forward, shielding me from the glassy complexion in his eyes. “Hey,” he breathes. “What are you listening to?”
My hands tighten on the cord, and I bite back the sadness that wants to swell. “Nothing,” I murmur as I close my playlist.
Conner smiles faintly and looks out towards the road.
“Why are you here?” I breathe.
“You didn’t want a lift, so I want to catch the bus with you,” he answers as he turns his head slightly towards me. “Is that a problem?”
“No…”
“Noya, what did—” Conner reaches out to me when I suck in a breath and stand abruptly and take a few steps away from him as I wrap my arms around my chest. I blink rapidly, struggling to push back the tears as I glance in his direction, and I know I should have. I should have kept my focus down, for everything shatters as I see his face.
Horrified. He looks horrified. Wide eyes and a pale face, too.
The bus pulls up, and I tear my eyes away from that broken look and step onto the bus, flashing the driver my bus licence on the way.