I move to the middle, and as I get to my usual spot, I shuffle into the seat and place my bag beside me. As Conner gets closer, I glare at my lap and clutch at the strings of my jumper. Conner moves to the seat across from mine, and his gaze tingles against my skin the entire bus ride to school.
When we reach the school,I leave before anyone else is out of their seats. When I glance behind, Conner waits for the crowd, smiling and nodding to a few who notice him on the bus.
Samantha is waiting, as she always does, and waves me over, but the closer I get to her, the quicker her smile falls away. “Noya?”
“Hey, um…if anyone asks, can you tell them I went to the library? I just…” I bite my lower lip. “Um…”
Samantha touches my hand, and her soft brown eyes focus on me. “What happened last night?”
“Nothing…I just?—”
“Noya,” Conner breathes from behind me.
I jolt and sidestep until I’m hiding behind Samantha. Blinking rapidly, I look towards the girls’ toilets. “I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Right…yeah. I will come with you,” Samantha declares. “Conner, if you see Dylan, can you tell him I’m with Noya?”
“Sure…”
Once we reach the girls’ toilets, the bell for class rings, but we aren’t too bothered by it. Inside the cubicle, I sit down on the toilet seat while Samantha takes out a cigarette and a lighter. “So, what did Andy do?” Samantha says.
“How do you know Andy had anything to do with this?”
“Conner is here, and Andy isn’t.”
I bite my lower lip and nod.
“If you don’t tell me, I will get Dylan, and we will go to Andy’s home?—”
“No,” I say. “I’ll tell you. Just don’t…I don’t want to cause a scene, so can you please keep it to yourself?”
Samantha responds with silence as she waits for my answer. I consider lying to her, but I’m uncertain if I can in my fragile state of shock. Then, as I glance at her, I know I can trust her with whatever I want to say.
The more we talk, the more she inhales her smoke, and the wider her eyes go. I try not to look at her for more than a few seconds at a time, wary of what her expression will be like the next time.
“What the fuck?” she breathes.
I stand, and she flicks the cigarette into the toilet. We have been here for the past hour, so we will stay here until recess and sneak out.
“You should report that to the police, Noya.”
“No,” I say with a shake of my head. “I just…want to move past it and pretend it never happened.”
“Noya, this is really serious and fucked up, and?—”
“My choice,” I interrupt. “And I want to leave it alone, please.”
Her expression falters as the tears flood out. “Oh, Noya,” Samantha says as she wraps her arms around me, and I cry into her chest. “Are you going to be all right? We can hang out here all day, like the good old times.”
I breathe a laugh and say, “It’s fine.”
“What if Andy is there?”
“I’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure? I’m happy to ditch Dylan, and it can be just us.”
I pull away and wipe the tears with the back of my hand. “Thank you for being here with me, Samantha. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t had you.”