I slipped into the bathroom, locked the door, and lookedaround the space before stripping down and getting into the shower, not bothering to wait for the water to warm up. My body convulsed under the cold spray from above, while a deep, unrelenting pain in my chest had me resisting the urge to collapse to my knees against the unforgiving tiles from the weight of a decade’s worth of unresolved emotions.
With each shaky breath, I fought hard to hold back my tears that were threatening to spill as the memory of why I’d fled my condo came rushing back. The fear I felt earlier tonight when I arrived home from work was a gnawing reminder that no matter how hard I tried to outrun my past, the walls were always a hairline crack away from destroying the peace I so desperately craved.
I was exhausted from being on edge all the time, constantly looking over my shoulder, and paranoid of being exposed; someone recognizing me. Not just from the darkness of my past, but also hiding from those I once knew here in Sutton River.
Since returning to the States, I’d been terrified of Jaxon’s reaction if and when he discovered I was close by, despite Ari’s constant reassurances that he’d be both relieved and overjoyed, I had let my fears grow into something bigger than they really were.
So much time had passed—how could he not be angry with me?
Hell, I was angry with myself.
But when I looked into Jaxon’s eyes on the side of the road, something shifted. Fate revealed its hand, forcing our reunion. It was time to stop running from my past and step into the light, knowing my worth and embracing the strength I had fought so hard to reclaim. I wasn’t going to let my anxiety hold me back any longer and steal my dreams.
I hurriedly soaped up my body, trying my best to block out the lingering scent of his body wash. I couldn’t afford to let my mind wander, not when everything about Jaxon had the power to pull me under. His presence, his scent, the weight of our past—it all had the ability to give me a false sense of security if I wasn’t careful.
After toweling myself dry, I slipped into his black Sutton River Police Department T-shirt and stood before the mirror, staring at the logo, wondering why he joined the police force instead of the fire department, as he had always planned.
When I opened the bathroom door, Jaxon was sitting at the edge of the bed, facing me with his elbows resting on his knees. His thick chestnut-brown hair appeared damp, and he had changed out of his dark-wash jeans and black dress shirt into a pair of black cotton shorts and a white T-shirt that clung to his well-defined torso and arms.
“I showered in the guest bathroom.” He answered the silent question clearly etched on my expression.
“I-ah.” Stringing a sentence together was the least of my concerns, especially when his eyes did a slow perusal of my body from head to toe and back.
The cotton shorts he’d given me, I’d folded in and over at the waist, were eclipsed by his SRPD T-shirt, and if gauging by the heat in his eyes, he was appreciating the heck out of my look despite the fact I wasn’t revealing much.
A nervous flutter stirred in my chest as I turned and walked toward the door. Jaxon stood so quickly that I flinched on instinct. My fear wasn’t about him, but my body reacted anyway as he caught my wrist.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
I drew in a slow and practiced breath, smoothing away thecracks in my facade, hoping he hadn’t noticed my slight recoil that had nothing to do with him.
“Not that I had much choice in the matter earlier, but just because you brought me here to your home doesn’t mean I’m sharing a bed with you.”
Even though I wanted nothing more.
“Afraid you can’t resist me?”
“Hardly.” I swallowed, lying through my teeth.
“Well, considering this is the only sleeping surface in the entire house other than the floor, I’m?—”
“Then point me toward where I can find some extra blankets, and I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“Over my dead body.” His eyes darkened with an unyielding intensity, almost daring me to continue challenging him.
“Okay, you be a gentleman and sleep on the floor then.”
“Not happening. Sorry, not sorry.” He shrugged with indifference.
“Ugh!” I sighed, biting back a smile. “I don’t remember you being this insufferable.”
“It’s been ten years, change is inevitable.”
Didn’t I know it.
“Why don’t you have any furniture other than in your bedroom?”
“Jameson took it all when he moved.”